How to Ask Somebody Out

You have a crush on someone. That’s nice. But you can’t seem to gather yourself together to ask him/her out. That’s bad. I’ll try to highlight a few things here but beware: these are not pick up lines. This is the preliminary work you have to do so you can be sure – to some extent – that your question will result in a favorable answer. Yeah, they say everybody’s unique. Let me tell you one thing: everybody’s extremely predictable. There are a few patterns out there to which everybody abides. Figure them out and you’re set for life.

We’re talking about asking somebody out, which means it’s somebody you encounter every once in a while, not a sudden apparition that it’s highly unlikely to occur again and you have to act fast and in the heat of the moment. Because what I’m telling you requires more time. Getting someone to go out with you takes work, so be prepared for a bit of working.

Gather information about that person. Do not make haste and try to be as inconspicuous as possible, you don’t want that person to hear of your intentions. Now you don’t have to break into their house or hack their computer. Just ask around and mostly observe. What type of food they like, what type of music they enjoy, what are their favorite pastime etc. That’s easy, you just have to open your eyes. Then mould into that pattern. Based on all that info you can pretty much decipher what type of person they are and most importantly, what type of person they like. You do not have to become that person, just adapt a bit. If everything is very unlike you, just drop it, it won’t work in the long run, even if you get a date.

Be confident. When you pop the question, say it like you mean it. Let the other person know you have a genuine interest in going out with him/her. Do not try to look overconfident and throw the question as it’s something trivial. Also, don’t make it sound overly serious. Depending on the situation, adjust the invitation accordingly. Make it a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks or lunch for two at the Sheraton. But whatever you do, ooze interest, not desperation. Refrain from touching the other person when you pop the question, that’s an intimate gesture to which you are not entitled yet.

A few lines that might help

– Would you like to talk it over over a cup of coffee (about a common subject)?
– I’m going over (someplace) for lunch. Would you like to join me?
– There’s a movie I’d like to check out, I hear it’s great? I would like your company. What do you say?

A few lines that won’t help

– (on lunch) How about you eat my meat for a change?
– (on coffee) Is it me or is the coffee really hot in here?
– (on movies) Wanna go to a movie? My mom can take us tonight.


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