Forgiveness.

Forgiveness is a gift you give to yourself. It is not something you do for somebody else. It is not complicated. It’s simple. Merely identify the situation to be forgiven and ask yourself: “Am I willing to squander my energy further on this issue?” If the answer is “No”, then that’s it! All is forgiven.

Forgiveness is an act of the imagination. It dares you to envisage a greater future, one that’s based on the blessed possibility that your anguish won’t be the final word on the issue. It challenges you to forfeit your destructive thoughts about the situation and to trust in the possibility of a greater future. It builds up confidence that you may survive the pain and develop from it.

Telling somebody is a bonus! It is not essential for forgiveness to start the process that heals the harm. Forgiveness has little or nothing to do with a different individual because forgiveness is an inner matter.

Choice is forever present in forgiveness. You don’t have to forgive AND there are consequences. Refusing to forgive by holding on to the anger, bitterness and a sense of betrayal may make your own life deplorable. A vindictive mentality produces bitterness and lets the betrayer claim one more victim. There’s nothing so bad that can’t be forgiven. Nothing!

“The weak may never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.”
Mahatma Gandhi

The biggest misconception about forgiveness is the belief that forgiving the offense, like an affair, means that you excuse it. Not true. As a matter of fact, we may only forgive what we understand to be wrong. Forgiveness doesn’t mean that you have to reconcile with somebody who poorly treated you.

Another misconception is that it depends upon whether the individual who did you wrong apologizes, wants you back, or alters his or her ways. If another person’s miserable behavior were the primary determinant for your healing then the cruel and selfish individuals in your life would retain power over you indefinitely. Forgiveness is the experience of discovering peace inside and may neither be compelled nor stopped by another. I trust that to withhold forgiveness is to decide to continue to remain the victim. Remember, you forever have choice.

When you forgive, you do it for you, not for the other. The individual you’ve never forgiven. . . owns you! How about an affair? Simply because you choose to forgive, doesn’t mean you have to stay in the relationship. That’s only and always your choice. The choice to forgive is only and forever yours.

When you feel that forgiveness is essential, don’t forgive for “their” sake. Do it for yourself! It would be great if they’d come to you and ask forgiveness but you have to accept the fact that some individuals will never do that. That’s their choice. They don’t have to be forgiven. They did what they did and that is it – except for the aftermaths, which THEY have to live with.

The hurts won’t heal until you forgive! Recovery from wrongful conduct that produces genuine forgiveness takes time. For a few, it might take years. Don’t rush it. Constantly reliving your hurt feelings gives the individual who caused you pain power over you. Rather than mentally replaying your hurt, it helps to center your energy on the healing, not the hurt!

Compassion is among the key ingredients of forgiveness. Learn to seek and appreciate the love, beauty and kindness around you. It’s there, and you might have to alter your thinking and behavior to discover it. To have compassion for other people, you have to first have compassion for yourself.

Fit relationships are not possible without forgiveness! You can’t have a loving and rewarding relationship with anybody else, much less yourself, if you continue to hold on to things that occurred in the past. Regardless of the situation, making peace with past love partners, your parents, youngsters, your boss or anybody who you think might have “done you wrong” is the only way to better your chances of a “healthy” relationship with yourself or anybody else for that matter! It isn’t possible to truly be present and available to a fresh relationship till you heal the hurt and upsets of the past.

Forgiving somebody else is to agree inside yourself to overlook the wrong they’ve committed against you and to move on with your life. It’s the only way. It entails cutting them some slack. “What?” you say! “Cut them some slack after what THEY did to me? Never!” Let go! March on!

Non-forgiveness keeps you in the battle. Being willing to forgive may bring a sense of peace and well-being. It lifts anxiousness and delivers you from depression. It may enhance your self-regard and give you hope.

Forgiveness is a journey. You might never forget AND you may decide to forgive. You may forgive and tomorrow you might feel the pain all over once again. As life goes on and you decide to remember and feel the pain, then is the time to over again remember that you’ve already forgiven. Mentally forgive again if necessary, then move onward. When we allow it, time may dull the vividness of the memory of the hurt; the memory will finally fade. Always remember that you’re human. Occasionally individuals do and say hurtful things. It’s crucial to center on what you’ve done to learn from the experience.

Forgiveness is a creative act that changes us from captives of the past to liberated individuals at peace with our memories. It isn’t forgetfulness, but it demands accepting the promise that the future may be more than dwelling on memories of past harm. There’s no future in the past. You may never live in the present and produce a new and exciting future for yourself if you always stay stuck in the past.

Start again! It’s truly impossible to begin new and to make clear, healthy, life giving choices till we have let go of past injuries, confusion and resentments. Old injuries have a drawing power and pull our attention to them over and over, claiming energy and hope from us, preventing us from beginning again. Old wounds raise awful specters of the same thing occurring again in the future. For this reason, it is so crucial to spend time understanding the true nature of forgiveness, and what it truly entails.

To forgive means to “give up”, to release. It likewise means to restore oneself to basic goodness and health. Once we forgive, we’re willing to forfeit resentment, revenge and obsession.

We’re willing to reconstruct faith not only in ourselves, but in life itself. The inability or unwillingness to do this, causes damage in the one who’s holding onto the anger.

If you’re at war with other people, you can’t be at peace with yourself. You may let go. . . and forgive! It takes no strength to release. . . only bravery. Life either expands or contracts in direct proportion to your bravery to forgive. Your decision to forgive or not to forgive either moves you closer to what you want or further away from it. There’s no middle ground. Change is constant.

Want peacefulness? Forgive. The same power you utilize to hold on (to not forgive), is the same power you need to produce a fresh and exciting life. Forgiveness is the most crucial single process that brings peace to our soul and harmony to our life. All of us, at some point in our lives, have been injured and wounded by the actions or words of another. Occasionally the grievances have been so capital we thought, “no way, this I can’t forgive!” Resentment and hostility may run so deep that forgiveness becomes really hard. We believe we have a right to our outrage!

But, living from resentment takes such effort. It produces an enormous void in and around us. All the toxic feelings of hate and bitterness remain
suppressed inside and eventually seep into all the areas of our life with the result that we get bitter, angry, distressed and frustrated. And so, living from forgiveness becomes an essential. Not that this is simple; it isn’t. But we can’t keep ourselves in the flow of good if we hold some other in un-forgiveness.

Forgiveness isn’t something we have to do, but something we must leave flow through us. When we step away from the awareness of our human nature, and allow the divine or the higher powers grace to express through us, to forgive through us, we may at that point, feel the beaming and warm rays of the flow of divine love breaking up all hurt, all resentment, all sense of injustice. We get aware that we’re free and we may project that love outward into our world.

Forgiveness helps you move ahead. No one benefits from forgiveness more than the one who forgives! Afford yourself the gift of forgiveness. The very word forgiveness is built upon the root word give. Forgiveness frees people from your criticism and likewise frees you from being imprisoned by your own damaging judgments. It isn’t surrender, but a witting decision to cease to harbor bitterness. In affect, it takes the poison out of your body. It cleans your system of the poison that will certainly fester and induce illness and continued misery if not released. You can’t take the poison and expect somebody else to die. They’ll go on with their life and you’ll be the only one to continue to suffer.

Forgiveness is the key to your own happiness. Forgiving somebody else takes moral bravery. Its power may change misery into happiness in a moment. Forgiveness means deciding to release, move on, and favor the positive.

Forgiveness is a sort of love inside the context of a personal crisis. To forgive is, in a way, to love one’s enemy. When forgiveness is afforded because you think you ought to, it no longer is forgiveness but an act of self-concern.

The act of forgiveness constitutes a mental bath, releasing something that may only poison us inside. It produces the freedom to create a fresh future beginning today!

 

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